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TEN THINGS NOT TO SAY TO A ROMANCE WRITER… AND THE SNAPPY ANSWERS YOU MIGHT RECEIVE IF YOU DO.
1. Did you model that character after me?
a. No, you’re too boring to be a character in my book.
2. Did you get your plot from a TV program?
a. No, that’s called theft of intellectual property.
3. Are you going to put what I just said in a book?
a. Maybe, but you’ll never know, will you?
4. Who did you fashion your characters after?
a. No one, they are fiction, remember?
5. Did that really happen?
a. No, that’s called nonfiction.
6. Where do you get your ideas from?
a. I buy them at the corner store along with my crack, heroin and diet pills.
7. Does your mother know you write this stuff?
a. Yes, and she’s buying copies for all her friends for Christmas.
8. Do people actually buy your books?
a. Yes, I’ve got the royalty checks to prove it.
9. I could write something like this…it isn’t hard.
a. Go ahead…I dare you!
10. This isn’t real literature, you know.
a. Really? That’s what it’s classified as by the government (when you file a copyright.)
To check out my books on my website, click here
LOL! I love it AND I double dog dare you!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't know if the questions or answers are the best. And that's non-fiction
ReplyDeleteLOVE this!
ReplyDeleteSee, I'm evil... my answer to #5 would have been "yeah, last night...WITH YOUR MOM."
ReplyDeleteAnd it's not hard, huh? *raises eyebrow* Isn't that sort of a requirement for erotica? After all, if it isn't hard, I'm not interested. I'd like to see that mouthy punk keep it up as long as we have to so everyone ends up happy in the end.
HA! Love it!
ReplyDeleteLOL, Awesome!
ReplyDeleteYou left out the biggest one: When are you going to write a real book?
ReplyDeleteI love the one about it being easy, anyone could do it.
That is EXACTLY what I was going to say! ROFL... I get that all the time... writing for the GLBT romance market, MM in particular, I get... when are you going to write a real book about real romance...
DeleteSighs...
All books that aren't in the shops are fake books, of course.
DeleteJean, fabulous! I have a friend who said, "I can write that shit." It took a lot of inner strength not to hit him.
ReplyDeleteVery snappy! Now I want someone to ask me one of those questions.
ReplyDeleteFun reading...and oh, so true.
ReplyDelete