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The long road to great writing is paved with...words!
As writers we always hear, "show, don't tell" but how does one do that? You may be able to show instead of tell simply by switching some of your verbs to more evocative ones. Some verbs flatly state a fact, others evoke a feeling, a mood along with the action.
Here are a few examples of the flat word in a sentence and the same sentence using the evocative word instead:
1. He pulled his t shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor.
He ripped his t shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor.
He yanked his t shirt over his head and dropped in on the floor.
2. He grabbed the winning ticket from Amy's hand.
He snatched the winning ticket from Amy's hand.
3. She moved up and down trying to see the sidewalk break dancers.
She bobbed up and down trying to see the sidewalk break dancers.
4. He stepped closer to her slowly.
He inched toward her.
5. She picked up the test papers she dropped on the floor.
She gathered up the test papers she dropped on the floor.
6. She took the letter out of his hand.
She plucked the letter out of his hand.
7. He looked at her quickly while she changed.
He glanced at her while she changed.
Added by Tabitha Shay:
8. She grabbed the spoons from the drawer.
She fished the spoons from the drawer.
Thank you Tabitha!!
Do you have favorite evocative words? Please share them with us by leaving them in a comment. Thanks for stopping by.
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As writers we always hear, "show, don't tell" but how does one do that? You may be able to show instead of tell simply by switching some of your verbs to more evocative ones. Some verbs flatly state a fact, others evoke a feeling, a mood along with the action.
Here are a few examples of the flat word in a sentence and the same sentence using the evocative word instead:
1. He pulled his t shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor.
He ripped his t shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor.
He yanked his t shirt over his head and dropped in on the floor.
2. He grabbed the winning ticket from Amy's hand.
He snatched the winning ticket from Amy's hand.
3. She moved up and down trying to see the sidewalk break dancers.
She bobbed up and down trying to see the sidewalk break dancers.
He inched toward her.
5. She picked up the test papers she dropped on the floor.
She gathered up the test papers she dropped on the floor.
6. She took the letter out of his hand.
She plucked the letter out of his hand.
7. He looked at her quickly while she changed.
He glanced at her while she changed.
Added by Tabitha Shay:
8. She grabbed the spoons from the drawer.
She fished the spoons from the drawer.
Thank you Tabitha!!
Do you have favorite evocative words? Please share them with us by leaving them in a comment. Thanks for stopping by.
Website
Great words! Showing vs telling is difficult. I like the word "fished"
ReplyDeleteEx. She grabbed spoons from the drawer.
She fished spoons from the drawer.
There are always better words, it just takes a bit of thinking and use of the wonderful thesaurus.
Great post. I must admit I don't give enough attention to 'showing' words. But through your explanation, not complicated text book jargon I can understand the importance, and begin to improve. Thank you
ReplyDeleteLove how one simple change of the word can add so much more meaning to a sentence.
ReplyDeleteEmotion choked him.
ReplyDeleteHis heart squeezed into his throat.
That is one of my problems since I wrote plays in the past. I write screen/stage directions, which is tell, not show. Informative blog. TY
ReplyDeleteGreat post
ReplyDeleteWonderful post, Jean!! I'm a sucker for the word "pulled". Trying to break that habit LOL. Thanks for the great tips!!
ReplyDeleteDaisy Dunn