The Long Road to Great Writing - Evocative verbs

Thanks for visiting today. 

The long road to great writing is paved with...words!
As writers we always hear, "show, don't tell" but how does one do that? You may be able to show instead of tell simply by switching some of your verbs to more evocative ones. Some verbs flatly state a fact, others evoke a feeling, a mood along with the action. 


Here are a few examples of the flat word in a sentence and the same sentence using the evocative word instead:


1. He pulled his t shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor.
    He ripped his t shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor.
    He yanked his t shirt over his head and dropped in on the floor.


2.  He grabbed the winning ticket from Amy's hand.
     He snatched the winning ticket from Amy's hand.


3. She moved up and down trying to see the sidewalk break dancers.
    She bobbed up and down trying to see the sidewalk break dancers.

 4. He stepped closer to her slowly.
    He inched toward her.


5.  She picked up the test papers she dropped on the floor.
     She gathered up the test papers she dropped on the floor.


6.  She took the letter out of his hand.
     She plucked the letter out of his hand.


7.  He looked at her quickly while she changed.
     He glanced at her while she changed.


Added by Tabitha Shay:
8. She grabbed the spoons from the drawer.
    She fished the spoons from the drawer. 
Thank you Tabitha!!



Do you have favorite evocative words? Please share them with us by leaving them in a comment. Thanks for stopping by.

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I Interview my character, Captain Danny Maine

When I wrote Now and Forever 2, a Love Story, Captain Danny Maine took up residence in my head, dictating his story to me. I was so busy scribbling it down and trying to get everything right, I never had the chance to chat with him.So I've called Danny back from the book to talk with me today for a few minutes. Here is what he had to say:


Me: Danny, sit down. Make yourself comfortable. Coffee? Beer?
Danny: Hey, it's early, I'll start with coffee.
Me: Mile and sugar?
Danny: Don't you know by now? We only lived together for three months. Milk and sugar, of course.
*Jean pours coffee into a mug and passes it to Danny.*
Me: Okay, I have one question I've been dying to ask.
Danny: (sips coffee, then leans back in his chair) Fire away.
Me: Why did you come to me? Live in my head?
Danny: That's two questions. Okay, okay *holds up hand*, I know. I'm being "cute" and I'll stop. I came into your head because you wrote about Callie and mentioned me in Now and Forever 1, a Love Story. And you wrote about my brother Kyle. You said nice things about him. Besides, rumor has it you're a good listener. That was important.
Me: What did you say? Just kidding! Yes. I'm a good listener.
Danny: I couldn't keep it in anymore. Dr. Weiss said having my story told would help my PTSD. I needed to write this book.

Me: Why did you take over the story? A couple of times I planned one thing and you took over the pen and wrote something else.
Danny: It was a computer keyboard not a pen...
Me: A figure of speech...
Danny: Whatever. Because you were doing it wrong. You were making it too soft when it was hard as nails.
Me: You toughened the story.
Danny: Damned right. Had to be truthful. Had to tell it like it was.
Me: Did I portray everyone properly...to your liking?
Danny: Eliza is prettier than you said. 
Me: *turning a jaundiced eye to him* Anyone else you're not happy with?
Danny: Jonesy. She's nicer than you said. When I was sick once, during the time when I was...
Me: Shhhh. You're giving away the plot.
Danny: Oh, yeah. Anyway, she brought over soup and a movie.
Me: Oh? What movie did she bring?
Danny: *blushes* How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days.
Me: Why are you blushing?
Danny: It's a chick flick...but I watched it anyway. Don't tell Mac.
Me: My lips are sealed *draws fingers over lips*. That's all?
Danny: You got everyone else okay...after I told you how...
Me: Any other complaints?
Danny: I thought you'd never ask! First off. Where do you get off telling people about my sex life? Hey isn't anything private?
Me: Not in a romance book, Danny. Now if you'd wanted a straight biography...
Danny: I know, I wouldn't have come to you. Still...did you have to tell...so much? God, it's embarrassing as hell. Everyone is reading it in Willow Falls.
Me: Sorry, Danny. I didn't think...I'll talk to Beth. Our publisher was told NOT to sell any copies to anyone from Willow Falls.
Danny: Well, she is. Now when I go to Kiwanis the kids razz me about "Sweetpea" and all. Damn. Pisses me off.
Me: I'm so sorry. I'll speak to Beth tomorrow. Beth? Are you listening - Nix on the Willow Falls sales, okay?
Danny: Good. A guy's got to have some secrets.
Me: You  had quite a few secrets when the book opened, didn't you?
Danny: And I told you about them, too, and what did you do? You blabbed them all in the book.
Me: All? Didn't you keep some things back?
Danny: I did...like the fact that you wanted to sleep with me the whole time!
Me: Danny! *blushes*, why would you say that?
Danny: *snickers* Payback. Besides, it was true. I could tell, the way you described me, my body and all. I could tell you wanted me. Never let on to Eliza...
Me: Perhaps that's all we have time for today.
Danny: *takes my arm* No, wait. Before I go...I wanted to say "thank you".
Me: For what?
Danny: For telling my story...and Kyle's story. I feel better now the story's been told.
Me: *Hugs him* I'm glad. I wanted to help you.
Danny: And you did. Now...this hugging thing, you see? I told you...you have the hots for me.
Me: *blushing deeper red" What woman would could resist you?
Danny: None I've met yet. *grins*.
Me: Okay...I think we're done.
Danny: *bends me over backward and kisses me* That's what you've  been waiting for, right? You deserve it. *gets up and leaves the room*
Me: Wow! Yeah. That was worth waiting for. 

PLEASE LEAVE A COMMENT, DANNY IS COUNTING ON IT!

IF YOU'RE NOT FROM WILLOW FALLS AND ARE INTERESTED IN THIS BOOK, HERE'S A BIT ABOUT IT:

Danny Maine, leaves the Army after becoming an expert sharp shooter, killer and womanizer. He gets a job teaching English at Kensington State University where he strives to have a normal life.

There, he meets Eliza Baines, a beautiful widow, and is smitten immediately. Danny struggles to overcome post-traumatic stress syndrome and make a new life when his drunken and abusive father is released from prison and seeks him out. Struggling to leave his horrific past behind, Danny attempts to forge a new path that includes love, success, friends and having his own family but dark forces and emotional obstacles block his way. The Book of Danny is a poignant story of love, loss and ultimate triumph that will touch your heart.

SHORT EXCERPT:
With plenty of time to get to the restaurant, Danny wanted to walk with Eliza. He put his hand on the small of her back, guiding her down the front steps. Her hand felt soft and small in his as they walked to the restaurant a few blocks away. Sexy high heels are not meant for walking, he thought as Eliza snagged a heel in the grass of her front lawn, tumbling forward.
Danny caught her against his chest, holding her there for a moment as she rested against him. The heat from her one hand on his chest and the other on his bicep created desire in him.
“I’m sorry,” she mumbled, unable to meet his gaze.
“Are you okay?” he asked, wrapping his arms around her.
“I’m fine,” she said, her fingers tightening over his upper arm, her breasts crushed against him. His lips were close to hers, close enough for him to steal a quick kiss. When she closed her
eyes for a second before she pushed away from him, he thought about it, but the opportunity passed as quickly as it came. His hands gripped her upper arms as he helped her back on her feet
with ease. She stared up into his eyes and they stopped. Danny felt electricity shoot up his arms from touching her. Eliza averted her eyes first, stepping back and smoothing out her dress to
cover her nervousness. Danny captured her hand again and they continued the short distance to the restaurant in silence.

NOW AND FOREVER, THE BOOK OF DANNY BUY LINKS
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TUESDAY TALES - "HEART" PROMPT - HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

HERE IS MY ENTRY TODAY FOR TUESDAY TALES. IT IS A PIECE FROM MY WIP, "THE RENOVATED HEART"

 

Kit Alexander ordered a Cosmopolitan and sat back, her heart racing in anticipation of tomorrow’s departure. After twelve years of marriage, a career in banking and raising an 11-year-old daughter, Kit was finally going to live her dream of becoming a published author.

Their daughter, Zoe, was safely enrolled in boarding school, allowing Kit to accompany her husband on a world tour as the newest band member of Blue Waters band. Kit was tagging along as a band wife and planned to write a book about her experiences.

A tinny version of Johnny’s favorite song came up. There was a text on her phone. She put down her drink. The message read,

“Are you all packed? Is Johnny there yet? Wishing you an amazing trip, Hugs, Sarah”

Kit typed in,

“Yes, no and our first three cities are Amsterdam, London and Prague. Thanks, lady. Hugs, Kit.”

Sipping her Cosmo, Kit looked around La Nuit Francaise, a posh, intimate French restaurant tucked into the west side of Manhattan, decorated in turquoise, red and gold. Beautiful people dressed in expensive clothing pretending to be someone important filled the restaurant. In addition to paying through the nose for the good food, they were also paying to be seen. Save me from such pretention. Wearing a sexy dress in midnight blue silk, her dark cerulean blue eyes shining, her spun gold hair draping well below her shoulders in loose curls, she was the loveliest woman in the room.

Kit looked up, watched a man approach her table and smiled at her husband, Johnny, as he pulled out his chair and sat down.

He ordered a beer and another Cosmopolitan for Kit.

“You look great, Kit,” Johnny said, taking a swig of his beer. His gaze lowered to her neckline then returned to her face.

“A fresh look for a new start…tomorrow I launch a new life. We both do,” She picked up the second Cosmo and took a sip.

“Kit, we need to talk about tomorrow,” Johnny said, looking down at the silverware.

“I’m ready. I’ve crossed off almost everything from my to-do list,” she said.

“You and that damn list. Always lists. Look, the trip…the trip is. Well. The trip is just for me, Kit.”

“What do you mean?” Her brow furrowed and her eyes darkened.

“I mean, I’m not taking you with me,” he replied, shifting in his seat and avoiding her stare.

BACK TO TUESDAY
TALES


CLICK HERE TO CHECK OUT MY BOOKS ON MY WEBSITE

DECLARATIONS OF LOVE!

 

THE 5 WINNERS ARE: SINN, WANDA, JESSICA, GEM SIVAD, BARBARA!! CONGRATULATIONS! I WILL CONTACT YOU FOR YOUR CHOICE OF BOOK TONIGHT!

THANK YOU EVERYONE FOR STOPPING BY!


In honor of Valentine's Day, here are some of the most heartfelt words of love from my characters in my stories. To share the love, I will give away the book of their choice to 5 people who leave comments. Don't forget to include your email addy. Happy Valentine's Day!

FROM "THE MARRIAGE LIST"
He leaned over and kissed her.
“What if she doesn’t like me?”
“Never happen. She’s going to love you.”
“How do you know?”
“Because I love you and she’s always loved what I loved.” He stopped the massage.
“You love me?” Carrie opened her eyes and sat up.
“Of course. Didn’t you know?”
She shook her head, “You’ve never said it before.”
“Aren’t you supposed to say something here?” He ran his hand through her hair.
“I love you, too. But that went without saying,” Carrie tossed off.
“It never goes without saying.”

FROM "NOW AND FOREVER, A LOVE STORY"
"What about my life? I can‘t commit myself to someone who doesn‘t love me, no matter how practical you think you‘re being. I‘m old fashioned and I have to have love. With love I can endure anything, without it I can endure nothing," Callie exclaimed.
"But I do love you. You‘re the one, Callie. When I told you you had my heart, I meant it.  Don‘t you feel anything for me?" Mac asked.
Callie turned to face him. Tears came to her eyes.
"Of course, I love you! Don‘t be an idiot! What do you think I‘m talking about? It‘s how you feel about me in question here. We know how I feel," Callie answered, wiping away the
tears.

FROM "NOW AND FOREVER 2, THE BOOK OF DANNY"
Eliza increased the pace until she melted in sweet release. Danny pulled her to him, holding her tightly as he rolled them both over. Now on top of her, he thrust hard and fast bringing her again to release. Groaning, he climaxed with her.
“I love you, Sweetpea,” Danny said softly, as they cuddled, basking in mutual bliss and lazy sunshine. “We’re only supposed to have fun but…I know I we agreed…I love you. Please don’t be mad.”
“I love you, too,” she admitted, touching his face.
She kissed him and he grinned letting out a war whoop that startled the wildlife.
“She loves me! Yeah!”

FROM "APRIL'S KISS IN THE MOONLIGHT"
April was frustrated. Talking around the subject wasn’t getting her anywhere. Gavin didn’t move but continued to stare into her eyes.
"There’s no other way to say it," she said. 
"Go ahead then. Say what you came to say." He put his hands on his hips.
"I’ll have to be blunt."
He nodded and seemed to brace his legs as if expecting a strong wind coming.
"I love you, Gavin," she said, heat flaming in her cheeks.
Silence filled the air.
"What?"
"You heard me. Do I have to say it again? I love you."
"You do?"

FROM "THE LOVE LIST"
Carrie hugged him, her cheek on his chest. She moved back a step
and looked into his eyes, catching a glimpse of the frightened little boy he was on that horrible day. What a terrifying experience! Her heart melted.
“I’m so sorry. I won’t go there. I promise.”
He leaned his head on hers and closed his eyes. “I couldn’t stand to
lose you, too. I love you so much,” he whispered.
“I love you, too.” She snuggled more tightly into the comfort of his
embrace.
They held onto each other while the sun melted the ice coating the
tree branches and the air began to warm up. Cold water dripping down on
them from trees above forced the lovers to move.TO FIND OUT MORE ABOUT MY BOOKS CLICK HERE FOR MY WEBSITE
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