Saturday, December 2, 2017

BREAK MY HEART - DELETED SCENE


Here's something I NEVER do. It's an unedited, deleted scene. It was deleted with good reason. But readers are often as curious to see what didn't make the final cut as what did! Some things in the story have changed completely. So here, you go. *Hides under the bed.* Please excuse any typos or other errors. You want it raw and as-is, so you got it. 

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“What’s the name of your design friend?”
“Shyla Hollings?”
“Yes, yes. The one that does set design. I need to hire her to do my house.”
“What?”
“You heard me. My 
New York decorator is busy and wouldn’t travel out here anyway. I’m tired of living in a dump. It’s time to get this place set up. If I’m going to live like a hermit, I’m damn well going to do it in style. Her number, please?”
“I don’t think she’ll appreciate you calling and asking her to decorate your house.”
“She will when I tell her what I can pay.”
“Her husband is a wealthy retired pro football player.”
“So what? I don’t give a crap who he is or what he does. If you won’t let me call her, then you do it. I need help. Mindy in a total decline here.”
“Okay, okay. I’ll call her.”
“Good. Thank you. I knew you’d see it my way.”
“I always do, don’t I?”
“That’s why I adore you, cousin. You’re the only one who hasn’t turned their back on me.”
The minute the words were out of his mouth, he regretted his candor. He’d vowed to himself, never to admit that to anyone. Well, Mindy wasn’t just anyone. Still. Here comes the pity.
There was a moment of silence. “I’m so sorry, Rick. Let me call Shyla now.”
“Thank you. Forget I said that, will you?”
“Whatever you want, hon.”
He put down the phone and took a moment to thank God for Mindy. Checking his watch, he realized it was dinner time. At his feet, Oliver gave a little whine.
“Okay, boy. I know. Time to eat.”
He traipsed into the kitchen, grinding his teeth. He hated cooking for himself, even if it only meant heating something up in the microwave. And the frozen food selections were not to his taste. Still, he had no idea how to do much more than boil water, so he relied on frozen food.
He opened a can of dog food for the pooch and gave him fresh water, then heated up his supper. The two sat together in the kitchen, eating. Rick stared out the window at the beautiful scenery. The green of the trees, the sweet bird songs soothed him. He had to come to terms with his disfigurement and move on. He had to build a new life. But how?
He knew people with personal resources –inner strength, determination, problem-solving skills. But that wasn’t him. Rick Breaker Winslow had grown up a pampered child. He’d had the run of his parent’s Victorian mansion in Pine Grove. Hot-and-cold running nannies, cooks, caretakers looked after little Rick.
Then he started modeling. After he’d given up fighting to get his life back, he learned to enjoy the attention and, for sure, the money. It’s wasn’t a far distance from slave to master. Before long he was calling the shots, picking and discarding jobs on a whim. Doing only what suited him. Spending time only with people who paid the proper homage to him and his fame.
As he sat and looked out the window, it dawned on him what a monster he’d become. Shame filled him when he recalled how he’d treated the little people, interns, go-fers, people just starting out. He’d been high-handed, condescending and sometimes even cruel.
His heart sank as he conjured up a true picture of Breaker Winslow, famous model and total dick. Fear gripped him. What if he reached inside himself to find his inner strength and there was none? What if he was truly as empty has he had appeared?
When he finished eating, he poured a glass of white wine and took Oliver out to sit on the back porch. He eased his butt into an ancient rocker. The movement calmed him. He watched the birds and searched for a way out of his depression, a path that could lead to some kind of life.
He made a mental list of professions, jobs, but couldn’t come up with anything he either had the skills to do or wanted to do. Face it, Breaker Winslow was only a shallow, pretty face with no skills, no aptitude, and no ability at anything. Being the best frog catcher on the street didn’t qualify you for anything in life. And he couldn’t even become a gigolo because he’d lost his looks. That was a shame because he did have a talent for making love. He laughed to himself. He ought to, he’d done it enough.
Absently, he petted Oliver who had curled up in a small bed by Rick’s feet. The feel of the soft fur between his fingers lowered his blood pressure, reduced his heartbeat. He could no longer hear it in his ear. Rocking back and forth refreshed his spirit. 

His thoughts turned to his body. He hadn’t worked out much in a year and was already getting flabby. He’d gained five pounds. He needed a gym, but there was no way he’d be joining anything – even if they had one in this no-man’s-land. He’d have to construct his own gym. He knew the equipment he needed to keep himself fit and slim. Now where to house the damn stuff?

****
The next morning, after breakfast, Rick harnessed the dog for his morning walk. His mind returned to the idea of a gym. As they strolled, the pooch pulled toward the center of his property. Rick unleashed the animal, who ran full speed after a squirrel. Rick loped along behind, his long legs and easy strides keeping him close to the little pug.
As they ran, an outbuilding came into view. The barn! Why didn’t he think of it before? It would be the perfect place for a gym. He whistled for Oliver and the twosome headed for the decrepit structure.
If the house was sagging and sorry, the barn was about three steps below. It looked so rickety, he’d be afraid it would collapse the minute he pushed on the door. And who knew what lived in there? Deadly spiders? Vampire bats. He’d be afraid to go inside alone. A yap from the floor reminded him that he wasn’t alone.
Not that Oliver could do much to protect him against anything truly threatening, but he could bite and make noise. That would have to do.
“Ollie. Oliver! Get up! We’re going exploring, buddy.”
At the sound of his name the pooch jumped up. Rick put down his glass of wine, tucked his fingers into his pockets and headed for the barn. Oliver trotted along behind him. He hoped the place was decent enough to turn into some kind of a gym. 
A rueful smile spread his lips. If you threw enough money at a problem, you could solve almost anything. He touched his cheek. That’s right almost anything.

****

The dark wood was weathered beyond shabby chic straight to falling apart. Two large doors came together in an uneven line. A rusty closure dared Rick to touch it. He grimaced and put his hands on the metal. Oliver barked and wagged his tail.
 “That makes one of us who wants to see what’s inside,” Rick said, tugging on the latch.
Anger at the barn’s uncooperative attitude fueled his strength. He’d show this hunk of junk exactly who was boss.
“So you’re not going to open up? We’ll see about that,” he said, yanking hard.
Rust crumbled on his shoes as the latch sprang up with a jolt. He swore, brushed off the tops of his Nike’s, and faced the double doors. As he pulled on one, the creaky hinges wailed like a dying coyote.  Rick cringed at the assault on his ears. A musty smell enveloped him as the door swung wide. Temporarily blinded by the darkness, he hesitated before moving in.
Oliver trotted inside, nose to the ground.
“Stinks in here, doesn’t it?” He asked the pooch.
Unafraid, Oliver continued in and turned to the right. When he disappeared, Rick panicked.
“Oliver! Ollie, where are you? Get back here right now!”
An answering bark assured him his pal was still alive. As his eyes adjusted to the lack of light, he took tentative steps inside. There wasn’t much to see. He made out what looked to be stalls, maybe three in front of him. To the right was a half-wall. He guessed that either hay was housed there or a small tractor of some kind.
There was a bit of old straw on the floor. A small shaft of light poked through a hole in the roof. On the left was open space and in the rear, a ladder going up to the loft. The ladder was missing a rung –the others looked weak, at best. No way was Rick going to attempt to check out the loft. Spider webs, masterly woven between supporting beams, tickled him as he passed by.
He shuddered at the notion that a spider might be crawling on him and he’d never know. Even as a boy, he’d been afraid of spiders. He frowned to think he hadn’t outgrown that yet. He shook all over, hoping to knock off any hangers-on. Oliver gave his fur a shake as well, making Rick laugh. 
He exited the building and latched the door. While they checked out the barn, clouds had gathered. Big drops of rain began to fall. Rick sprinted toward the house with Oliver running full speed behind him. Once inside, he made more coffee and took a mug out to the back porch. Easing into the rocker, he watched the rain fall. As long as the wind didn’t pick up or shift, he was safe from the wetness. Oliver curled up at his feet.
He stared at the monstrosity that used to hold horses and tractors and other useful things.
“Now it can house my gym and I can get back to where I should be.”
The rain beat a steady song on the roof. Something to the right caught his eye. Damn! Water dripped down on the far end of the porch. This roof would have to be fixed.
“Probably have to rebuild the whole fucking house. And that shitty barn, too,” he said.
Ollie barked.
Still be cheaper than rebuilding his townhouse. The insurance company was waiting to pay up until the fire department declared that the fire wasn’t arson and wasn’t set by him. He frowned at the thought. If anyone had seen that palace, they would have known he’d never burn it to the ground.
For the millionth time the pity party returned. He missed his hot tub and his king sized bed. Never get something that big in any bedroom in this place. The one wound that would never heal was the loss of the original artwork on the walls. He’d never be able to replace that. He sighed.
“Maybe we should have a plan for this dump, Ollie? What do you think?”
The pug barked as Rick eased up from the rocker and went inside to fetch a pad and pen.
“Okay. Where should we start, boy?”
New energy surged through him as he wrote down his thoughts. The design and construction team, consisting of Shyla Holllings, Will Lennox and his sister, would be arriving that night. He’d ordered pizza and beer for their get-together to plan the renovation of his new digs.
At least he’s be prepared with a few ideas on paper. He worked hard to muster enthusiasm for the new project, but he fell short. Yearning for his old life took over. No one had as perfect a life as he had and now it was gone –forever. Would he ever stop mourning? Probably not.
He finished up and put the pad on the dining room table. Then he went up to his room, a new cozy mystery by Mel Comley shoved under his arm. Reading proved to be the best escape. After reading two chapters, he fell asleep. Oliver had jumped up to join him and curled up next to Rick. The snoring of the creature, which had annoyed and disturbed the man at first, had become a lullaby, soothing him to sleep.



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